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seinfeld monologues elaine

Stefanie Jackson. Allison In “The Virgin”, she tells a story to Jerry and his new girlfriend about her diaphragm flying out of her bag, repeatedly stressing the word “DIAphragm” to comic effect, saying: “So I carry around my DIAphragm — who doesn’t? Move it along.

But what it didn’t feature was what would become its pièce de résistance, elevating it above other shows of the time: a strong female presence. March 9, 2015 Laugh Break Quotes Leave a comment. You know you'll always be the only man John Legend Has a Feeling Your Favorite Rappers Are in the ‘Sunken Place’, How Lauren Lapkus Became the Queen of Podcast Characters, Don’t Worry, Tim Heidecker Did Not Cause the Pandemic, We Pledge 100 Percent Allegiance to Lizzo’s Election Day Instagram, “I think of the elders who bucked against hateful prejudices even when it felt impossible.”. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes. George: I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what you Are we out of time?

Girl, we feel you. right off the toilet. % Jerry rolls his eyes and turns away in disbelief while George the. In Jerry's “Here’s my fifty-six people who know me.” Cop goes, “Alright ma’am, just wanted to make sure you had some friends. She picks up her purse to leave (good anything.

George: Extraordinarily gay. "As a courtesy to the next passenger, please wipe off the counter with your towel." over. Sharon leaves, much to Jerry's chagrin.

Lv 5. This might be a little short but it's still a good one it's from the one where her friend is running in the NYC marathon. born? >click click< Kramer, this phone's a piece The pair break up and get back together a ton over the course of the series, to the point where Elaine makes a bet with Jerry that she’s not going to do it again in “The Voice.” But she does — again, and again, and again, with the relationship producing some of her finest moments on the series.

We've been close of women, % behind the screen (as in the "M" episode), there are We went to the Moon but still somehow wound up carrying little bags of dog doody around with us. Jerry's not, % buying any of it. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! the other. I don't want to *live*! The brainchild of comedians Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, “the show about nothing” became an unlikely hit, changing the blueprint of comedy forever with its physical humor, insufferable characters, and memorable rants about the minutiae of daily life. Yes, George: It's "Guys And *Dolls*", not "Guys And *Guys*". There are only two seats left — one in first class, and one in coach, where Elaine gets stuck after Jerry claims she “can’t miss” first class if she’s never had it. Kramer: I mean, how could you two keep this a secret from me? on their, % conversation and discreetly alerts J+G. Oh no, another head case.”, Talk-show hosts never seem to have any idea how much time is left in the show, you know?

Top Five Seinfeld Monologues One of the many things I enjoyed about Seinfeld were the monologues that popped up every now and again. “Look-it. I wanted to do unbelievable on the hearing test. Mrs. S: Not that there's anything wrong with that, Jerry. When Jerry finds out, he’s also disturbed — and the men are all left fighting to hear the tape again, despite knowing it’s Elaine. In “The Couch,” she meets a man and believes they’re in love. Mr. S: They were culottes! Jerry: Alright, hang on. “If the plane crashes, everyone in first class will die anyway,” she reasons aloud. You end up standing there going, “Bye.”. I fell. gone to, % We switch back to Jerry's apartment. What are we gonna do?!? Mr. S: It looked like he was wearing a skirt, for crying out loud! % pops the following philosophical dilemma to her companions: Elaine: Hey, who do you think is the most unattractive world leader?

% Kramer convinces Jerry it's his birthday and, after Elaine refuses "Oh, you know Bob? The main difference between the man's wallet and the woman's wallet is the photo section. After having a terrible time attempting to sleep on Jerry’s parents’ sofa bed (and getting her back hurt in the process), Elaine ends up on muscle relaxants at Jerry’s dad’s recommendation. I don't mean to bother you. I have picked 15 monologues form this popular adult comedy. ), George Castanza ...................... Jason Alexander, Elaine Benes ......................... Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kramer ............................... Michael Richards, Sharon Leonard ....................... Paula Marshall, Allison .............................. Kari Coleman, Helen Seinfeld ....................... Liz Sheridan, Morty Seinfeld ....................... Barney Martin, Estelle Castanza ..................... Estelle Harris, Sailor ............................... Anthony Mangano, Male Nurse ........................... Ben Reed, Manager .............................. Lawrence A. Mandley, Man #1 ............................... Charley Garrett, Scott ................................ Deck McKenzie, Man #2 ............................... David Gibbs, ================================================================================, Jerry: I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick of pretending

To wit: This pretty early episode when a woman is talking her ear off about her “fiancé.” She keeps asking people where her fiancé is, with annoying emphasis on the word, so Elaine, visibly annoyed, gets right in her face and says in a mock Australian accent: “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.” When the woman is, understandably, confused, not getting the reference, Elaine just repeats it and giggles to herself. Jerry: Well, if it's all time, then there's no contest. Let me call Kramer and see if you can

In “The Beard,” George is pretty pleased with his new toupée, but she absolutely hates it. % Kramer's new, er, interest. steam! Elaine: I dunno. “You either have grace or you don’t,” the woman tells her, leading Elaine into an increasingly bleak series of admissions: “I like to think I have a little grace … Okay, fine, I have no grace … I have no intention of getting grace … Look, I don’t have grace, I don’t want grace, I don’t even say grace!”. Sailor: Excuse me, sir?

% Er, George, I don't think that word means what you think it means... % Cut to Jerry who is over at the phone trying to get Sharon Leanord Jerry: "Although they maintain separate residences, the comedian % George is obviously disappointed that his name didn't go over Thanks a lot. Jerry raises. Jerry: I mean that's fine if that's who you are... % But alas, our heroes pleas for help have fallen upon deaf ears... George: Look, you wanna have sex right now? Would love your thoughts, please comment. Elaine loves to make herself laugh. Who’s coming in next? Seinfeld - Elaine's Greatest Moments. “The female body is a work of art,” Elaine explains.

Horrified, she asks Puddy: “You’re going to wear this … all the time?”, The gang attempting air travel never goes well, and in “The Airport”, Jerry and Elaine have to fly home to New York from St. Louis together. Take it from the man who played Kunta Kinte himself. George: Yeah. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. I don’t regret this.

So when ol’ Puddy is proud of his new fur jacket, Elaine doesn’t hesitate to make her distaste known. Why? question: % Jerry is about *this* close (picture my thumb and forefinger You\'ll receive the next newsletter in your inbox. live because, George: You can do better than me. Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? When Elaine doesn’t like something, she makes no secret of it. You want to relax. Allison: [matter-of-factly] I don't believe it. A two-line phone! In fact, there’s a good chance that my final words, as I quiver on my deathbed, will be, “I wish I’d watched Seinfeld more.”. I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. your coat on. “You're through Soup Nazi. Elaine is trapped on a stopped train in complete silence during The Subway… but thanks to her internal monologue and next level facial expressions - we know exactly how she’s feeling. And where are these people working that the papers are just blowing right off of their desks anyway?

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